Child Molestation and Communication

By Angie

One of the most beneficial and important, necessary, things we can do for our children is to talk to them. Communicate and really talk. Shying away from the subject of sex and predators is something we can't afford to do, especially when it comes to the safety and wellbeing of our children.

If our children know that there are people out there that will harm them, they may take more caution in dealing with adults or those that wish to do them harm.

Good touch, bad touch should also be taught. It's very important to go over this with a child, because if a child is being molested or touched in a bad way, then they need to know to tell someone about it, that they can refuse and say no. A child's instincts are pretty good, at least when it comes to the Good Touch Bad Touch approach.

My ex husband was worried one day, said that because of what happened to me as a child he was afraid of doing the wrong thing with our girls, that it might be interpreted the wrong way. I told him, if his intentions are only good, then the girls will know that, sense it and it won't cross their minds. If his intentions are bad, if he touches them in a way that is intentionally bad, they will know and be uncomfortable.

After I cut off contact with my family my oldest daughter asked me where my parents were. I told my children that my parents were not good people, they did some really bad things, my dad especially, and they wouldn't be seeing my parents or family. She looked at me and said oh, I'm sorry Mommy, that would be hard not being able to be around your Mom and Dad.

When my children were a little older they asked what happened to me that I wouldn't talk to my parents anymore. I believe that if a child is old enough to comprehend such questions, then they are old enough to be told the truth, albeit a lighter version, depending on the age of the child. I told my kids that my dad touched me in bad ways when I was little and because of that I would not let them be in my life or around them, my kids, for fear it would be done to them as well. My children were shocked, my oldest especially as she understood more what it meant.

Children that have never been molested might be shocked and surprised to think of such a thing, but it's necessary that they know that these things can and do occur. That it can happen to any child. They need to know that there are people out there that will molest them if given the opportunity. I'd rather have an aware and comprehending child than one that has no idea such things occur. It's better to keep them informed and really talk to them, keep them alert in the chance that they are approached one day.