Confronting Your Molester

By Angie

Not an easy thing, right? Tough as all get out actually. Confronting the person that caused you so much pain and emotional torment. Not to mention all of the physical memories of what that person did to you.

It can be done, and I'll tell you right now that it's an amazing feeling standing up to the person that molested you.

What made me stand up to my father after all those years of being molested? Seeing him hold my first child, my daughter. We went to see them on Father's Day, of all days. He wanted to hold her, so there he was, holding my most loved little girl, across his lap. I freaked, told him to give her to me. He looked at me with a smirk and said, you want her, come get her yourself. I said fine, scooped her up, said you will never see her or any of my children that I may have ever again, and you won't see me either. I told my husband that we were leaving. My mother came running out of the house wondering what was going on. We left and I called him later on.

It was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. Yes I did it to protect my daughter but I also did it for me. It was time. Seeing that man hold my little girl just turned my stomach and I knew right then I could walk away from my family.

I called him once we got home and confronted him. Of course he denied it at first, but then I told him that if he didn't tell mom what he did to me, I would, and I wouldn't hold anything back. That was the beginning of a long process, but one well worth the trouble, heartache, and time.

All molestation survivors should be able to confront the person that molested them, but it's not always so easy. There is so much fear and shame ingrained during the abuse that it makes it difficult to come out into the open.

The reason I started this site is because I felt it was time to get it out there, talk about it. I've been told before by people in my past that I should keep quiet about it, no one wants to hear about it, it's tough to hear and it's repulsive. Yet another way to keep survivors quiet. People don't want to face that such a thing can happen. Well, if we talk about it and make it a known subject, I feel that less and less people will be willing to act on their urges to molest children. They will be fearful of being caught, that people will be more watchful of the things they do around children. And it really is all about the children and the adults they will become. By keeping quiet the molesters win, they've gotten away with being the monsters they are.