Domestic Violence

By Angie

Violence in the home is, at least to me, a total contradiction of what a family should be. Even though I grew up in a bad home, I still believe today that family should be the last place one should experience violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, beatings. A person's home should be a place of safety and comfort, not a place of fear and insecurity.

Anyone that's done some research on this subject knows that it is most often viewed as spousal or partner abuse, ie, beatings, hitting, threats of death. Yet domestic violence will affect all that live in that household. It touches the lives of everyone in the inner circle.

So what causes a person to be violent to those that they supposedly love? I say supposedly because I don't understand how a person can say they love someone, and then hit them. Beatings are not a way to show love, they are a way to gain control, feel possibly powerful, keep those they 'love' acting within the limits the abuser sets for them. Yet why would a person be with another if they feel the urge or need or anger enough to beat the other?

Many people ask why a person being abused would stay with the one that is beating them. Obviously there is no set answer, at least not for everyone that falls under this category. What kind of control or power does the abuser have over the abused. When you first get to know someone and they hit you, would you stay with that person? If a man, or woman for that matter, were to hit you on the first date, would you continue to date them? Of course not! The problem is, the abuser acts 'normal' for the longest time, then once the person falls for them they turn into this abusive partner.

Too many people stay with abusive partners. There are many reasons for this. For one, falling in love with someone is not so easy to let go of, even if they treat you badly. At least this is what I've heard from talking to people that have been in this situation. They stay because they love their partner. But love shouldn't be enough to stay with someone that hurts you physically or emotionally.

What so many abused people need to understand is that there are millions of people out there. If you are being hit by your partner, walk away. Get help. Run if you have to, but get as far away as you can from the one that has decided it's ok to physically abuse you. There are so many people out there, so why stay and live through Hell on a regular basis. Everyone at some point or another in their lives needs to know that they are worth being treated well, regardless of anything that has happened in their lives or how they feel about themselves. No matter how much you love someone, how can you have any kind of respect for them, or yourself, if you stay with an abusive person. We cannot change who a person is, all we can do is choose for ourselves how we will be treated by others. Stand up for ourselves and make it stick.  Thanks for reading my article on Domestic Violence.