Molestation and Sex

By Angie

I don't mean the two together. The two are totally different. Sex has nothing to do with molestation. Hard to believe? A molester does what he/she does because of some issue they have or had, either as a child or a miscommunication in their brain. Ok, so I'm not a doctor, but I have survived molestation as a child, know what it's like to live through it. My father had something twisted in his head that made him want to molest me. No I am not making excuses, as far as I'm concerned these people that feel the urge to molest children should hide themselves away from society and stay hidden. Face what they feel and do something about it before they get to the point where they take that step to molest. When they feel that they are attracted to children they should rid society of themselves and do what it takes so that they won't hurt innocents.

That seems easier said than done. It's us that have been abused that live with the effects. So what about sex? We grow up, date, maybe marry. What do we do with all those pent up feelings we have about sex? What if our view of sex is distorted because of being abused or molested as children? Does it mean that we can't enjoy a healthy sex life once we are adults? I think/know that we can have a healthy sex life.

Being abused quite often means being afraid to enjoy sex. Afraid, even subconsciously, of allowing ourselves to enjoy an active sex life. Yet when you think about it, as adults we should be able to enjoy such a thing. It is not out of our grasp. What is needed is a perspective, knowing that what was done TO us is different than what we choose to do as healthy and normal adults. I say normal because we are, we just happened to have something done to us that was unhealthy.

Sex is not a bad thing. We NEED to know and understand that as we get older. The problem is overcoming associating sex with abuse. Abuse is what is done to us, sex is what we experience with another person that we care about. Once you realize that you have the power to control what you do, and that you have the power who you have sex with, it becomes a whole different ball game.