Prevent Child Abuse

By Angie

I'm am truly not sure of a way to totally prevent child abuse. I know what to watch for, changes in behavior once the abuse was done, but to prevent it, well, all I can do is recommend certain ways to protect a child.

I myself took my children away from my family. Knowing that my father is a child molester, I took my kids away from my whole family and moved to a different location, changed my phone number, cut off all contact. This protects my children from one molester, but not from all.

Children should never be forced to talk to strangers, even if it's just to be polite. For example, if an adult comes up and says hello to your child, tries to play with them, and your child is shy and doesn't want to have contact, don't force them to. This teaches your child that they do not have to be friendly just because it is an adult talking to them. If you force them to be polite and nice back to a complete stranger just because it is an adult, then the child will think they have to be polite to strangers, have to be friendly.

Children NEED to be taught that they do NOT have to listen to what every adult says or tells them to do. If they are given the power to say no to an adult, this will go a long way towards preventing abuse. Too many people want their children to be kind to strangers, so that they themselves look like good parents that have taught their children manners. There is nothing wrong with a child saying no to an adult, and it will serve to keep them confident in protecting themselves. Children have an automatic system built in to be leery of strangers, at least most do. Even very outgoing children need to be taught not to be welcoming to strangers, they should trust their instincts.

Also children need to be taught that there are some bad people out there. I know that it may sound tough or wrong to 'scare' a child, but I would rather have my children leery of strangers and be aware, than to have them be complacent and feel as though they need to do whatever the adult wants them to do.

I was in an elevator one day at the doctor's office with all three of my children when an elderly man entered. He said hello to the kids, smiled, waved, and when they were shy I told the kids that it was ok to say hi because I was there with them, but not otherwise. He looked at me and said, that's a very good lesson young lady. Too many people are afraid that it will seem rude if their children don't say hello back, yet there are many scary people in this world. He was right.

It's better to empower our children then it is for them to seem as though they have good manners. To me good manners should mean the adult backs off once they realize the child is shy and leery.