Preventing Child Molestation or Abuse

By Angie

I have touched on this subject before, but feel as though there is more to be said.

As I said previous, children should be taught that they don't have to do what strangers want them to do. I'm not talking about a babysitter telling them to eat their dinner or there will be no dessert. I'm talking about someone the child doesn't know wanting to give them a hug, or have some kind of physical contact that the child balks at. Children need to know that it's perfectly OK for them to say no, or not to respond to the adult wanting physical contact.

An example: When my husband and I were still married his brother came to visit for a bit. Our children didn't know him, were not comfortable being around him. Because our children weren't comfortable with him I wouldn't leave them alone with him. We were always present.

When it came time for him to leave, he wanted a hug from the kids. Our oldest daughter balked, said no, she didn't want to. I told her that it was fine, she didn't have to hug him. Well he got right upset at this, said that he wanted a hug from his neices and nephew. I said no, if they are not comfortable I am not going to make them hug you. He again got upset, said that he was their uncle, that it was only right they give him a hug before leaving. I stood my ground, saying that I would never force my children to hug someone they didn't really know and weren't comfortable with just because he thought a hug was appropriate. Why force them to hug a stranger? He left angry.

This is the type of thing I am talking about when I say that our children should not be forced into physical contact with someone if they don't want it. If we make our children have physical contact, what kind of message does that send? How will our children react when a pedophile tries to force contact on the child? The children will think that they don't have the option of saying no or refusing, all because we've told them they must do what an adult tells them to do. Many child molesters count on children being complacent and docile with adults, as most children are taught to respect their elders and do what they are told to do by adults.

What we should be teaching is that they have the power to refuse whatever they are not comfortable with when it comes to physical contact. This will go a huge way when it comes to our children feeling empowered.