Signs of Child Molestation

By Angie

Having firsthand experience I can see clearly how I changed and reacted to being molested when I was young.

Many people may mistake a child's sudden behavior change to anything but abuse. No one wants to believe their child is going through such a thing. We want to believe that we would know if our child is being molested, that we have protected them enough that such a thing couldn't happen. But this isn't always the case. Most often the parents or others won't know the child is being molested. The molester is very good at intimidation, manipulation, and the child is terrified of telling anyone they trust what is going on. Often the molester will threaten someone the child loves. In my case my father told me that if I were to tell anyone, I'd be taken away, that it would hurt my mother and brother and sister, that no one would believe me, and I'd be punished. I was so fearful that I kept it in, didn't tell anyone for years.

Also there is the great fear that the child won't be believed. It would be terrible to tell someone they trust, only to have them doubted and brushed off as making up stories, or trying to get attention. I myself knew that I couldn't tell my mother, she wouldn't believe me, or rather, would deny that it was happening for her own peace of mind, therefore the molestation would be even worse. He wouldn't even bother hiding it anymore. I knew that my mother would turn her head to it all. In fact, that's exactly what she did. There were too many signs of what was going on, yet she was in denial and didn't WANT to see what was happening.

The signs I myself exhibited were to become quiet, withdrawn. Suddenly my grades in school started going down, I couldn't concentrate on my homework. When I was home I would hide myself away, try to avoid my father as much as I could. I'd hide myself in my room or outside somewhere. I stopped talking much, became introverted. I would cover myself more with clothes, even in hot weather. I would practically beg not to be left alone at home with my father if the rest of the family was going out. I would become desperate not to be in any circumstance where he would have the opportunity to be close to me.

These are all signs to look for. Now I'm not saying that any child that has these symptoms is being molested, but they are a good starting point or indication something isn't right.

I know quite a few people that were molested as children that still haven't told their families about what happened when they were young. They didn't want to make a big deal of it, they blamed themselves, therefore storing it away and letting it fester, eating away at their peace of mind and wellbeing. I myself didn't tell anyone until I was in my early twenties.

The biggest thing to remember is that a child needs to be believed. If they suddenly become withdrawn, self conscious to the point where they seem almost painfully shy, and are suddenly doing poorly in school whereas they loved it before, find out what's going on. Awareness is the key to helping a child get through the pain of molestation.

Check out my second article on Signs of Child Molestation