Signs a Child May be or Has Been Molested

By Angie

As I spoke on earlier in one of my articles, there can be many signs that a child has been molested, or is still being molested. Looking back at my own behavior I can recognize how I reacted to it at the time and how it affected me later on. As I continue to write articles for my site they will continue to be more in depth.

I can tell you that when I was old enough to know what was happening to me, that is, old enough to remember it as it was happening, I became suspicious of people. Men in particular. Not only did I not like being around my father, but around other men in my life. I remember keeping my distance, which wasn't hard to do in our family as we were not an affectionate group. My suspicions, however, became almost a fear of men. Now as I got older this lessened, especially around a couple of my uncles on my mother's side. They were good to me and there were no, for lack of a better term, creepy or unwanted feelings or inklings towards me.

As I have said earlier, I remember it from the age of 8 and on. At that time I developed a difficulty sleeping. I would lay awake until 4am, then maybe get a few hours of sleep before I had to get up for school. This became an ongoing problem for me. Lack of sleep is not a good thing, but I was so afraid of him coming to my room that I would lay awake for hours, just to make sure I would know what was coming and I could prepare myself for it.

I also became very withdrawn. I would spend more and more time on my own, away from the family. This is a big sign to watch for. Yes it's quite natural for kids to want more privacy as they get older, but how many kids want to buy a lock for their bedroom door so they can lock themselves in, and everyone else out? My father was quite upset by this, would tell my mother that he didn't want me having a lock on my door, “just in case something happened, like a fire or something”. She told him that it was fine that I had a lock on my door, which to me was strange. If your child becomes very withdrawn and feels the need for increased security, then it's time to ask yourself what is going on. Even if they are not being abused there has got to be a reason for such a thing.

Shyness is also another indication. Not the usual shyness that a child exhibits during different stages of development, but a deep shyness, self consciousness to the point where they are hiding themselves or covering themselves up with layers of clothing, even during hot weather. I felt such a profound shame, as though somehow the way I dressed was provoking my father into molesting me.

Another big symptom to watch for is acting out sexually. Children naturally develop a sense of their sexual selves, masturbate, etc. What I mean is a child acting out sexually when it's not appropriate. Maybe acting aggressive sexually with themselves in front of others or with other children. Doing or wanting to do things way before they should know about such things. Such things should indicate a huge warning sign. Something is definitely going on and should be investigated as soon as possible. I myself would masturbate or touch myself very young and this continued as I got a little older, at inappropriate times. I didn't know any better, they were all outward warning signs of more going on. Normally this isn't something I would talk about in every day conversation, but really none of this is. If we are going to prevent and stop child abuse we need to put all of our cards on the table. I would act out sexually, without consciously thinking anything of it. I didn't think of it at the time, but maybe I was hoping someone would say something, try to find out what was going on.

One thing I would like to mention is girls and their periods. I myself didn't start menstruating until I was 16. I thought there was something wrong with me and never went to my mother about it. I just went about my life as though it was 'normal'. My periods were very erratic and irregular. I found out once I was in my twenties that my body did this in order to protect me. My doctor told me that my periods were erratic in order to prevent me from getting pregnant, that I was protecting myself from the horror of getting pregnant with my father's child. Not an easy thing to read or think about him? This is what girls being abused and molested face on a regular basis. Boys face different horrors from being abused, thank God that our minds and bodies help protect our fragile psyches from the molestation that we may have to endure. Now it's time for the rest of us to pitch in and do our part to protect all of those innocents having this done to them on any sort of level.

Check out my first article on Signs Of Child Molestation